Im back from London. It was an amazing trip and thanks to Lauren, I had a great tour guide. We probably walked 20 miles and saw so much. A Jack the Ripper walking tour through the East End, then drinks with Harriet and her friend Kate at the bar where the prostitutes used to go back in 18th century. I learned that the living conditions were so bad and there was little water and the water that was available was so bad to drink it would kill you so everyone had to drink gin and was pretty much an alcoholic. Women had to sell their bodies for a bit of stale bread and a sip of gin. Which of course horrifies me when I think about the fact that it was not that long ago and what if something happens to our water supply. Will I have to shag someone for a pence, some gin and a bite of stale bread? ANYWAY.....we walked over the London Bridge (and I could not get “London Bridges falling down” out of my head for the entire day). Saw the London Tower, Big Ben and my favorite the Borough Market, one of the oldest outdoor Farmers markets on the planet (yes it's true) and there was so much amazing food and cheese I was glad to let go of my vegan for the weekend and ate a ton of it. Feeling it today but who cares, it was delicious! I was lucky enough to see a bunch of my friends from Apple and just had a great time.
I have to say though...it’s good to be home. In the country side with Tim. It’s calm here, quiet and I got to come home to the love of my life and am so grateful for that. I have been alone for so long with so much to keep me entertained but in the end, this is what I want. Unless I can somehow get all my girlfriends and their families to move to the country side in England and start a commune! Anyone??
I get that Im an extremist. I love the insanity of the city, the energy of it. I get there and I pick up on it right away. I can feel it running through my blood and I love it. I want to be out, do everything and eat good food and drink good wine and shop and be a consumer and spend money but honestly....there is nothing boring to me about being in love, having a calm life, cooking, being at home, not having a set schedule or a routine of what I need to do today and just go slow. I wonder if I really want both or if I just have not let go of my old life yet? Maybe I will always want both and if so I can find a way to make that happen. But I need to give this life some time. It’s not in my blood yet and not coursing through my veins but even as I say that I can feel the country life settling in. I’ve been here 20 days now and I can feel the difference. I feel calm, the knot in my stomach is gone and I see the opportunity to grow if I allow myself the time to let it all sink in and not run back to a crazy job in a big city because it’s all I know. Can I make this work? Can I really find a way to stay in a calm, slow life and find the adventure and excitement in that? To just be still and do what I love without being distracted by the collective insanity of a stressful job and the city? Can I get into the country side? Love? Doing things slowly? I think so. Its just going to take some time. It’s that deprograming thing. Lauren and I were walking through the city talking about how crazy it is that on her set in London they take an hour for lunch. We were like, “you take an hour for lunch?? Are you people crazy? Why are you not slumped over your computer eating a horrible sandwich that catering brought in so that you can stay at work at eat it while in front of your computer?!” And we realized that they are the civilized ones. We are the crazy ones. Huh....
One more thing...I just finished reading The Red Tent, by Anita Diamant. I seriously cried through every sentence of all 321 pages. Not in a sad way but in a way that reminded me of passion, of life, of women and the importance of family and the love of friends. Of true love and the strength of the bond between people. I said it the first time I read it and I’ll say it again, if your a woman you should read this book once in your life. It’s so beautiful and reminds me to live my life with passion and feel everything rather than watch it go by holding my breath waiting for tomorrow.
OH!! And how could I forget. Tim finally washed his hair!! He gave up on the 6 weeks without washing. THANK GOD!!!
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